Monday, October 13, 2014
7th Grade Bullying/Harassment Survey 2014
7th Graders, please take this survey before you do ANYTHING else in the computer lab. Please be honest on this survey and understand that it is ANONYMOUS, so no one will know your answers. However, if you feel you are being bullied and/or harassed and want help, please see Mr. Barry so that we can work on this issue together. Thank you for your time on this survey.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Welcome to Middle School! Now What?
After reading this great advice post at the Parent Tool-kit website, I wanted to quickly post a little top 10 list of Middle School Parent Advice. I am doing this a little selfishly as I am now just one year away from having my first-born become a middle school child and have four more children who will hit middle school (and their teenage years) in the years following. So, I need to prepare just as much as all of you. So here goes....
1. Ask for help when you need it. Whether it be from another parent, a teacher, the principal, the counselor, your child's friend, or even your child....ask! Parents cannot single-handily raise a middle school child, I think it might be impossible! The saying "it takes a village to raise a child" I think was specifically said about middle school children! Biologically, their brains are starting to tell them to be less dependent on their parents, but they still listen to adults...just not always their parents. So, please, ask for help when in need.
2. Good days, bad days. No matter what your child is like now, they will have good days and they will have some really bad days. And in many cases, there is not a whole lot of difference in what happened, just how they perceive what happened. It depends on their brain chemicals and hormones and how they are working that particular day. Just listen, be understanding, and try to help where you can. But listening is the most important.
3. Homework and school work. Have them do SOMETHING school related each night, even if for only 15 minutes. Study some flashcards, quiz them on their math, ask them to show you something they learned. Look online to find out when their next test is and start studying for the test. Set goals. Something! And if they get behind, get a hold of the teacher and set up a plan to catch up. Set some goals....and get caught up!
4. Oh...set goals! So your new middle school child wants to be independent huh? Fine...have them set goals and make a plan to achieve these goals. Grade goals, fitness goals, sports goals, saving money goal, hobby goals, even video game goals! The process of setting a goal and working for it is what matters. You can eventually use this as a way to get them thinking much further into their future goals: College, career, life plans.
5. Careers...start thinking about them. They do not need to decide on a career during middle school, but this is when they can really start dreaming of this career and you can start helping them understand what it takes to get to that career. They are never too young to research and job shadow possible careers.
6. Friends. I am going to cheat and simply agree with what the parent tool-kit blog post said. Your middle school child needs multiple groups of friends. As a counselor there is one thing I can guarantee you: Your child will have a major breakdown with their friends and that breakdown could last a day, a week, or even the rest of the year. When that happens to a child who had no other groups of friends, that is painful to watch. They are completely isolated and alone. But when it happens to a child who can go to another group of friends for support, the pain can be greatly lessened. Plus, it is just plain healthy to have a variety of friends and will help your child in the long run. How to do this? Have your child get involved, have them play with friends after school, have different friends over at different times. And of course, get to know all of their friends...and their families.
7. Technology and their online world. Most (not all) kids are using technology and many are online. I cannot stress enough that this is not the place to give them total independence. It is simply too dangerous. And I don't just mean online predators and sexting, I also mean innappropriate emails, misunderstood texts and cyberbullying, and viewing explicit sites on the Internet. I have had students tell me they have two accounts for each social network, one their parent knows about and follows and one they don't. I have students saying they know how to delete texts before parents see them and have found sites where they can harrass and bully others anonymously and do not see what is wrong with this. With all of this said, I am a big supporter of technology, but cannot stress enough how much you need to have open communication with your child and need to speak with them often about their technology use.
8. Open Communication. The three years of middle school might be the toughest and strangest three years of life your child goes through. They need someone they can talk to and someone they can trust. Parents are the best choice for this but trust and openness has to be established. Remember, their brains are telling them to get away and be independent, but they have so many issues and questions that need help at the same time. Don't accept "I'm okay", "Nothing.", and "I'm fine." for an answer. Get your child talking and earn that trust. You will be amazed at how great these "difficult" conversations actually are. And your relationship will become even better.
9. Beware of mental health issues. Mental health issues (if they are going to occur) usually begin with the onset of puberty. Depression, anxiety, OCD, suicidal thoughts, etc. Middle schools are seeing more and more mental health issues for a variety of reasons, one of which is that puberty is occurring earlier and earlier over the decades and this is bringing mental health issues into the age range of 10-14. So just like our teachers are learning more and more about the warning signs and symptoms of mental health issues, parents should too. And please remember....a mental health illness is just like a physical illness. It needs medical attention and CAN be cured or treated. Don't ignore it, help your child work through it and get them better.
10. Have fun. Seems weird to think about "fun" after all of these stressful items. But any middle school teacher will tell you that the reason he/she loves teaching middle school is because these kids are "fun". They really are. They will test you and they will think they hate you at times, but even in those moments you have to sit back and laugh (after they have gone to sleep or left for a friend's house) and realize that the middle school human child is a really fun species and one that you will want to spend time with and get to know and have fun with. This stage is really the last stage where your child is still a "child", so enjoy it and enjoy the ride!
I am excited for another year of middle school and meeting all of the new students and working with all of the returning students again. And I definitely plan to have fun as well. I hope you do too!
1. Ask for help when you need it. Whether it be from another parent, a teacher, the principal, the counselor, your child's friend, or even your child....ask! Parents cannot single-handily raise a middle school child, I think it might be impossible! The saying "it takes a village to raise a child" I think was specifically said about middle school children! Biologically, their brains are starting to tell them to be less dependent on their parents, but they still listen to adults...just not always their parents. So, please, ask for help when in need.
2. Good days, bad days. No matter what your child is like now, they will have good days and they will have some really bad days. And in many cases, there is not a whole lot of difference in what happened, just how they perceive what happened. It depends on their brain chemicals and hormones and how they are working that particular day. Just listen, be understanding, and try to help where you can. But listening is the most important.
3. Homework and school work. Have them do SOMETHING school related each night, even if for only 15 minutes. Study some flashcards, quiz them on their math, ask them to show you something they learned. Look online to find out when their next test is and start studying for the test. Set goals. Something! And if they get behind, get a hold of the teacher and set up a plan to catch up. Set some goals....and get caught up!
4. Oh...set goals! So your new middle school child wants to be independent huh? Fine...have them set goals and make a plan to achieve these goals. Grade goals, fitness goals, sports goals, saving money goal, hobby goals, even video game goals! The process of setting a goal and working for it is what matters. You can eventually use this as a way to get them thinking much further into their future goals: College, career, life plans.
5. Careers...start thinking about them. They do not need to decide on a career during middle school, but this is when they can really start dreaming of this career and you can start helping them understand what it takes to get to that career. They are never too young to research and job shadow possible careers.
6. Friends. I am going to cheat and simply agree with what the parent tool-kit blog post said. Your middle school child needs multiple groups of friends. As a counselor there is one thing I can guarantee you: Your child will have a major breakdown with their friends and that breakdown could last a day, a week, or even the rest of the year. When that happens to a child who had no other groups of friends, that is painful to watch. They are completely isolated and alone. But when it happens to a child who can go to another group of friends for support, the pain can be greatly lessened. Plus, it is just plain healthy to have a variety of friends and will help your child in the long run. How to do this? Have your child get involved, have them play with friends after school, have different friends over at different times. And of course, get to know all of their friends...and their families.
7. Technology and their online world. Most (not all) kids are using technology and many are online. I cannot stress enough that this is not the place to give them total independence. It is simply too dangerous. And I don't just mean online predators and sexting, I also mean innappropriate emails, misunderstood texts and cyberbullying, and viewing explicit sites on the Internet. I have had students tell me they have two accounts for each social network, one their parent knows about and follows and one they don't. I have students saying they know how to delete texts before parents see them and have found sites where they can harrass and bully others anonymously and do not see what is wrong with this. With all of this said, I am a big supporter of technology, but cannot stress enough how much you need to have open communication with your child and need to speak with them often about their technology use.
8. Open Communication. The three years of middle school might be the toughest and strangest three years of life your child goes through. They need someone they can talk to and someone they can trust. Parents are the best choice for this but trust and openness has to be established. Remember, their brains are telling them to get away and be independent, but they have so many issues and questions that need help at the same time. Don't accept "I'm okay", "Nothing.", and "I'm fine." for an answer. Get your child talking and earn that trust. You will be amazed at how great these "difficult" conversations actually are. And your relationship will become even better.
9. Beware of mental health issues. Mental health issues (if they are going to occur) usually begin with the onset of puberty. Depression, anxiety, OCD, suicidal thoughts, etc. Middle schools are seeing more and more mental health issues for a variety of reasons, one of which is that puberty is occurring earlier and earlier over the decades and this is bringing mental health issues into the age range of 10-14. So just like our teachers are learning more and more about the warning signs and symptoms of mental health issues, parents should too. And please remember....a mental health illness is just like a physical illness. It needs medical attention and CAN be cured or treated. Don't ignore it, help your child work through it and get them better.
10. Have fun. Seems weird to think about "fun" after all of these stressful items. But any middle school teacher will tell you that the reason he/she loves teaching middle school is because these kids are "fun". They really are. They will test you and they will think they hate you at times, but even in those moments you have to sit back and laugh (after they have gone to sleep or left for a friend's house) and realize that the middle school human child is a really fun species and one that you will want to spend time with and get to know and have fun with. This stage is really the last stage where your child is still a "child", so enjoy it and enjoy the ride!
I am excited for another year of middle school and meeting all of the new students and working with all of the returning students again. And I definitely plan to have fun as well. I hope you do too!
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Many Ways to Teach Kids to Code
As the new school year approaches, I have an opportunity for the 3rd straight year to team up with our business partners at Telligen to help 30+ middle school students learn about technology and do some pretty fun and amazing things with technology through our Hyperstream club. This year, we will focus more on coding skills. So....what exactly does it mean to "code"? Coding is what makes it possible to create computer software, programs, apps, games, etc. Have you used your smart phone, tablet, or computer today? If so, it is because someone wrote code for you to do these things. And guess what? This technology and these skills are only becoming more and more in demand.
Hmm....2020, that is when our current high school students will graduate college and when our current middle school students will graduate high school. Helping them learn the basics of coding and computer programming can set them up for success in an even larger digital world. But what if your school or your child doesn't have an opportunity to be in a technology group like Hyperstream? Well, there are great websites where they can learn to code for free. Below are a couple great resources, resources our Hyperstream club will be using this year. Have fun!
www.code.org This site is AWESOME! Totally free, has some super-famous computer programmers supporting it, and is simple enough that my 9-year old son can work through it on his own, but difficult enough that I am challenged by it to. Basically, it is a step-by-step tutorial of what coding truly is at its most basic level and you get to complete challenges and earn trophies as you go. Here is a video explaining it better than I can.
Five IPad Apps that help learn coding skills. This blog post by Richard Byrne is a great description of some free resources that your children (and remember...even you!) can try to learn the basics of coding. I have not tested these yet, but plan to test them soon and have our students test them. Let me know what you think if you have tested them or when you test them.
Good luck!
Monday, August 4, 2014
Two-Week Back to School Boost!
Math:
*Dump out your pockets, open the piggy banks....and count money! Vary the activities based on their ages, but for young kids...they love getting to keep the pocket change if they can count the money correctly. If they can't, I just say...study up and try again tomorrow!
*Make basic math flashcards. I get in the habit of using tablet apps and phone apps, but having the kids make their own flashcards drives home the learning even more. Once made, have races and challenges with and against each other.
*Board games where your children have to count the spaces they move, count money, use math skills.
*Saxon Math. Search Saxon math lessons, worksheets, etc. on line and use or print what you need. With Saxon being such a large and widely used curriculum, there are no shortages of schools and teachers who have put the books online. This is also a great way to find the math lesson when your child forgets their book at school (trust me....we have had to do this several times!)
Science:
*Go online and search "science experiments at home" and try some out. Most use basic home supplies and most websites tell you exactly what the kids should be learning.
*Grow flowers and grow a garden. This can also help with math skills as well. Growing a garden can be a great learning experience and fun to eat the rewards when it is harvest time!
*Go out and experience nature. When you are driving, talk about habitats you see. Talk about how businesses and homes being built change habitat and how animals adapt. Collect pond water and look at samples under a magnifying glass. Watch the weather and chart the weather (again, math skills!). Learning about the weather brings in all sorts of science knowledge and is a great thing to know a lot about as an adult.
Reading/Language:
*Go to the library and get BOOKS!!!!
*Then read the books. Read to your children and have them read to you. We often forget how important reading aloud is.
*As they read, write down any word they stumble over and don't know. You can tell them what this word is and how to pronounce it or have them look up the word in a dictionary if they are older. Take these words and turn them into a weekly spelling list.
*Daily and weekly spelling challenges. These don't sound very fun, but can be way more fun if each correct word means an M&M or an extra 5 minutes of TV that day or week. If you have a computer or tablet, put the words into SpellingCity.com and let your children play spelling games with the words.
*Write down a few sentences to start a story and have your child write the next paragraph or more. The older the kid, the more they can write. I started a story like this. "I woke up one morning and everyone in my house was gone. When I looked outside, I knew exactly what happened because I saw...." And your child can amaze you with a creative story to fill in the rest.
Social Studies:
*Plan a local trip together or even have them help you plan a vacation. Even if you don't take the vacation, they can help plan one. Helps with the money and math skills too if you really get them involved.
*Puzzle of the United States. This is something I remember doing at my Grandparents house growing up. I still know where every state is because of doing that puzzle so often.
*Study your state capitals and abbreviations. There are some great apps for this. We love Stack the States. Fun and kids learn a lot.
*Talk about your errands you run and why you do them. Just helping your child learn what it takes to be an adult and a citizen in this world can really help them think about their place in this world and understand what it all means.
*Don't shy away from the news, embrace it. I don't know that kids need to be watching the nightly news, but if there is a big story (Ebola, steroids in baseball, politics, war, etc.), help your child understand what it means and encourage them to research these stories more so that they can form their own thoughts and opinions. This world will soon be theirs, so educating them now and helping them learn to educate themselves can get them ready for not just the upcoming school year, but for life in general.
Performing Arts:
*Music lessons! My kids are going to start piano lessons this year and I am excited to see how this affects their learning in other areas. Learning an instrument has been shown to help a young person's brain develop in other areas too.
*Or download music apps and games. Children can play the Piano or other instruments on the IPad, they can mix music using free music mixing sites and software, or they can learn about music on their own.
*Creative writing and artwork. You know what I have learned? Grandparents and other adults in your children's lives LOVE getting homemade artwork. So....spend 30 minutes or so just letting the kids use colored pencils, crayons, markers, paint or other crafts. No instructions needed....just creativity!
*Exercise....daily! There is not enough room to outline all of the benefits to physical activity, especially at a young age. Just find ways to get your child running and playing each and every day....multiple times a day.
There you go....a big list of things to do. The only problem is that by the time I finally typed all of this up (taking multiple breaks with my 5 kids and several visitors to see the new baby!), we are now LESS than 2 weeks from the first day of school. So...starting tomorrow, carve out a bit of time each day to try some of these things out. If you do it correctly, your kids may even have fun doing these and their first few days and weeks of school won't seem that stressful because their brain has already been prepped and primed for school. Good luck and have fun!
Monday, March 31, 2014
College Planning 101
We get a lot of questions in the counseling office from students and parents about when to start college planning and what steps they should be taking. For the most part, it's never too early to start looking at potential careers and postsecondary institutions that may align with those careers. Granted, most students will change their minds several times before they make their "final" decision (and even then they may change once they hit the college scene), but it's good to start somewhere. This might mean doing some research online on O'Net or I Have a Plan Iowa, it might mean talking to relatives or friend's parents about their careers, or it might just mean being more observant about all the different occupations that one can come into contact with on a daily basis- your doctor, nurse, mailman, police officer, teacher, etc.
In 2008, the state legislators mandated a student core curriculum plan be developed in 8th grade- meaning our junior high kids are identifying a career area of interest and mapping out their four years of high school to make sure they fulfill graduation requirements and electives to match with their career area of interest. Despite the panic that students and their parents can feel about making these choices, it's helpful to keep in mind that students revisit these plans every single year and are able to make changes based on their current plans. The state system also has students complete self-assessments each year to help them identify possible careers that align with their interests and abilities.
For the most part, we encourage students to actively start searching during their junior year. This is the year in which students will take the ACT test if a four year institution might be in their future, they will be taking the COMPASS test which is used by Iowa's two year community colleges, and they have the option of taking the ASVAB if they are interested in joining one of the nation's military branches.
College recruiters usually make two rounds to high schools- one in the fall geared towards seniors and one in the spring geared towards juniors. Students are able to sit down with the recruiters to learn more about the campus, programs, and activities available.
Most colleges also have junior visit days in the spring which are geared toward junior students. We allow juniors to take a college visit day that doesn't count against attendance. Getting on campus remains one of the most important ways a student can see if a particular college will be a good fit for them. It helps students get a feel for the size of campus, size of classes, and see where they would live while parents can get information about cost, safety, and completion and job placement rates (since kids sometimes forget to ask these things).
Keep in mind- not all students can/should/want/need to go to a four year school. About half of all available jobs today require education after high school, but NOT a four year degree. Check out vocational and apprenticeship programs as well.
The important thing is to not limit yourself too early on- keep your options open by taking challenging courses and a variety of electives to find things you like (or don't like).
During the fall of senior year, students and their parents have an individual meeting with their counselor to discuss the plan for after graduation and to walk through all the necessary steps to get there.
We're here to help, so please don't hesitate to call, email, or stop in with questions at any time!
Mrs. Lee and Mrs. Heidemann, High School Counselors
In 2008, the state legislators mandated a student core curriculum plan be developed in 8th grade- meaning our junior high kids are identifying a career area of interest and mapping out their four years of high school to make sure they fulfill graduation requirements and electives to match with their career area of interest. Despite the panic that students and their parents can feel about making these choices, it's helpful to keep in mind that students revisit these plans every single year and are able to make changes based on their current plans. The state system also has students complete self-assessments each year to help them identify possible careers that align with their interests and abilities.
For the most part, we encourage students to actively start searching during their junior year. This is the year in which students will take the ACT test if a four year institution might be in their future, they will be taking the COMPASS test which is used by Iowa's two year community colleges, and they have the option of taking the ASVAB if they are interested in joining one of the nation's military branches.
College recruiters usually make two rounds to high schools- one in the fall geared towards seniors and one in the spring geared towards juniors. Students are able to sit down with the recruiters to learn more about the campus, programs, and activities available.
Most colleges also have junior visit days in the spring which are geared toward junior students. We allow juniors to take a college visit day that doesn't count against attendance. Getting on campus remains one of the most important ways a student can see if a particular college will be a good fit for them. It helps students get a feel for the size of campus, size of classes, and see where they would live while parents can get information about cost, safety, and completion and job placement rates (since kids sometimes forget to ask these things).
Keep in mind- not all students can/should/want/need to go to a four year school. About half of all available jobs today require education after high school, but NOT a four year degree. Check out vocational and apprenticeship programs as well.
The important thing is to not limit yourself too early on- keep your options open by taking challenging courses and a variety of electives to find things you like (or don't like).
During the fall of senior year, students and their parents have an individual meeting with their counselor to discuss the plan for after graduation and to walk through all the necessary steps to get there.
We're here to help, so please don't hesitate to call, email, or stop in with questions at any time!
Mrs. Lee and Mrs. Heidemann, High School Counselors
Monday, March 24, 2014
New Study Shows Impact of Violent Video Games Lasts for Years
First off, here is the link to the KCCI story about a new Iowa State University study talking about the impact of violent video games:
Study: Impact of Violent Video Games Lasts for Years
As I read the article, I didn't hear anything really new to me, just another new study that is showing the same thing other studies have: Violent video games can and do have effects on young people. Most of these studies are new because the realistic violence of today's video games is still very new. We are just now learning the true effects of long-term exposure to these games. These are not the games we grew up with. As a student of mine said, "When I play these games, I get lost in them. They are so real. I play them so long that even when I take a break, I sometimes can't tell what is real and what isn't". Trust me....that didn't happen when we played Pac-Man, Contra, or Double Dragon growing up!
But the part that stuck with me after reading this article were the comments. I thought I would read a lot of parent support and a call to action. Instead, comment after comment (article is pretty new, so comments can change) talks about how the study has to be false and violent video games are okay because we all grew up with them. That got me thinking and thinking more and getting a little defensive. Normally internet comments don't get to me, but the comments simply weren't understanding the big picture. So I decided I would post a blog about my thoughts and try to counter the comments left on the article in hopes that parents, and hopefully even teens, can see why we need to listen to experts and even when we disagree, take a moment to think: If there is even a chance that this could negatively affect my child and it isn't required for my child to live....does he/she really need it? So....here I go.....
Comment #1: "Just another study": The study was done by Iowa State University and the topic was video games. Iowa State University invented the computer and is still a leader in computer science. They also have a pretty amazing virtual reality program. And they are a major research university. In other words....this isn't just another study. Also, they followed 3000 kids (that is 3000!) for 3 years. They didn't let 10 kids play Black Ops for a Day and then try to pick a fight with them and see how they reacted. They followed these kids for over 1000 days and continued to test them all through the study. This isn't just another study. And even if it was....it is another study among many recent studies that are learning that the brain can easily be affected by any sort of negative media.
Comment #2: "Isn't this just like Cops and Robbers or Cowboys and Indians like we used to play". Simple answer? No. I admit, when I was little, I played these games and enjoyed them. I enjoyed "killing" my brother or capturing him and taking him to jail. But I played them for 20 minutes at a time and it was my brother....someone I loved (most of the time). A typical middle school or high school student will play Black Ops or Grand Theft Auto for 3-4 hours at a time without moving their body. The only body part really doing work are the eyes and brain. And they are really working....recording all of the media put in front and processing each and every step and reaction. And these young people are playing their "enemy" which is sometimes the system itself, sometimes a friend, and many times a random person online. And their goal is not just to kill or capture their enemy, their goal is to kill them over and over in the most creative way possible. The students I talk to talk about how they love the blood spatter on their screen and love "trash talking" their opponent even though they admit that they often swear while playing this game because "that is just what you do in these games...you say vulgar stuff to the person you are beating". That does not sound like a game of brother vs brother Cops and Robbers to me. And remember the goal of Cops and Robbers? Not to get caught...run from your enemy. In other words....avoid conflict. The goal in violent video games? Score points, get kills. The more kills you get and the more creative you kill someone? The more points you get. Think about that idea......the more violence you cause and create, the more rewards you get. Ever hear of "leveling up"? This is the ultimate thing for a young person to do in a video game. In our day and age...this would be like getting a raise in your allowance. How awesome was that day!! But today's kids want to constantly "level up" in their games. And in violent video games, you level up by killing (or sadly in some games by beating women, having sex with prostitutes, or killing cops). So, no, these games are not like Cops and Robbers or Cowboys and Indians.
Comment #3: "Have them put down these games and enjoy some family time with UFC fighting, WWE wrestling, Walking Dead, etc.". Since I went a little long on the last comment, I will make this one short. Mainly because it is an easy one. There are other options. There seriously are. We live in a world with over 1000 cable channels, over a million Apps on the AppStore, and cell phones full of pointless, mindless games. If your child has to have a screen in front on them (that is whole other blog.....), there are non-violent options. My kids find them just fine. I love The Walking Dead, but my brain is fully developed and I am prepared for what I see. My kids will be maybe ready for that too....when they are in high school....maybe later.
Comment #4: "This is just like Looney Tunes and dropping anvils on someone's head". Again, no. Looney tunes never used blood. Never. Also, it is "silly violence", not realistic violence. The most popular video games currently are what are known as "realistic violence" games, which are even different than Mortal Kombat that I grew up around. People killing people in bloody ways using real weapons is very different than a road runner dropping an anvil on a coyote or a mouse lighting a cat's tail on fire. Our kids brains are in development, but they are developed enough to tell the difference between those two types of violence. They are not always able to tell the difference between realistic violence and real life though.
Comment #5: "Gamers are not the ones shooting up these places, mentally disturbed people who happened to play games at some point in their life are shooting up these places". Well...not all gamers are shooting places up. In fact, most aren't. But the study didn't say video games cause teens to "shoot places up". It said it increases aggression and influence their future behavior. As mentioned earlier, teen gamers are now learning to not back down but to fight back. They are learning that violence isn't always bad, but many times can be rewarded with power and glory. And yes, without proper adult interaction and instruction, and with a brain that doesn't develop quite like the others, yes they might just be the next shooter. In fact, one of the most common factors in school shootings after mental health issues is exposure to violent video games and media. Several recent shooters even told police that they trained for these events by playing video games such as Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto. But even if you forget about the school shootings, aggression is still the cause of bullying, gang fighting and violence, school fights, and youth violence. And I dislike these just as much as the school shootings.
I could likely keep typing rebuttals to these comments, but I think you get the point. Good parenting and debriefing with a child after any violence, either video game, media, or real, can limit or even erase these effects. But as a full-time working parent with a wife who works full time as well, we can't debrief with our children all the time. We make the easiest decision of all: we try our best to not expose them to any violent media (not even the news at times) and when we do, we do it with purpose and we talk them through what they just saw. Parenting is tough and technology was supposed to make it easier, but for today's parent, it has actually made it tougher.
Bottom line is this: If we continue to ask the question "where did we go wrong? Why are our kids bullying each other? Why are kids so mean these days? Why are there so many school shootings and violence in young people?" And when studies come out simply stating that violent video games and violent media biologically can be altering the brain and behavior of our young people and this helps us answer at least a little piece of these complex questions, why do we immediately say "science is dumb, my kid's just fine playing whatever he/she wants."? Sometimes we ask questions we don't want the answers to. The question is....will we change?
Study: Impact of Violent Video Games Lasts for Years
As I read the article, I didn't hear anything really new to me, just another new study that is showing the same thing other studies have: Violent video games can and do have effects on young people. Most of these studies are new because the realistic violence of today's video games is still very new. We are just now learning the true effects of long-term exposure to these games. These are not the games we grew up with. As a student of mine said, "When I play these games, I get lost in them. They are so real. I play them so long that even when I take a break, I sometimes can't tell what is real and what isn't". Trust me....that didn't happen when we played Pac-Man, Contra, or Double Dragon growing up!
But the part that stuck with me after reading this article were the comments. I thought I would read a lot of parent support and a call to action. Instead, comment after comment (article is pretty new, so comments can change) talks about how the study has to be false and violent video games are okay because we all grew up with them. That got me thinking and thinking more and getting a little defensive. Normally internet comments don't get to me, but the comments simply weren't understanding the big picture. So I decided I would post a blog about my thoughts and try to counter the comments left on the article in hopes that parents, and hopefully even teens, can see why we need to listen to experts and even when we disagree, take a moment to think: If there is even a chance that this could negatively affect my child and it isn't required for my child to live....does he/she really need it? So....here I go.....
Comment #1: "Just another study": The study was done by Iowa State University and the topic was video games. Iowa State University invented the computer and is still a leader in computer science. They also have a pretty amazing virtual reality program. And they are a major research university. In other words....this isn't just another study. Also, they followed 3000 kids (that is 3000!) for 3 years. They didn't let 10 kids play Black Ops for a Day and then try to pick a fight with them and see how they reacted. They followed these kids for over 1000 days and continued to test them all through the study. This isn't just another study. And even if it was....it is another study among many recent studies that are learning that the brain can easily be affected by any sort of negative media.
Comment #2: "Isn't this just like Cops and Robbers or Cowboys and Indians like we used to play". Simple answer? No. I admit, when I was little, I played these games and enjoyed them. I enjoyed "killing" my brother or capturing him and taking him to jail. But I played them for 20 minutes at a time and it was my brother....someone I loved (most of the time). A typical middle school or high school student will play Black Ops or Grand Theft Auto for 3-4 hours at a time without moving their body. The only body part really doing work are the eyes and brain. And they are really working....recording all of the media put in front and processing each and every step and reaction. And these young people are playing their "enemy" which is sometimes the system itself, sometimes a friend, and many times a random person online. And their goal is not just to kill or capture their enemy, their goal is to kill them over and over in the most creative way possible. The students I talk to talk about how they love the blood spatter on their screen and love "trash talking" their opponent even though they admit that they often swear while playing this game because "that is just what you do in these games...you say vulgar stuff to the person you are beating". That does not sound like a game of brother vs brother Cops and Robbers to me. And remember the goal of Cops and Robbers? Not to get caught...run from your enemy. In other words....avoid conflict. The goal in violent video games? Score points, get kills. The more kills you get and the more creative you kill someone? The more points you get. Think about that idea......the more violence you cause and create, the more rewards you get. Ever hear of "leveling up"? This is the ultimate thing for a young person to do in a video game. In our day and age...this would be like getting a raise in your allowance. How awesome was that day!! But today's kids want to constantly "level up" in their games. And in violent video games, you level up by killing (or sadly in some games by beating women, having sex with prostitutes, or killing cops). So, no, these games are not like Cops and Robbers or Cowboys and Indians.
Comment #3: "Have them put down these games and enjoy some family time with UFC fighting, WWE wrestling, Walking Dead, etc.". Since I went a little long on the last comment, I will make this one short. Mainly because it is an easy one. There are other options. There seriously are. We live in a world with over 1000 cable channels, over a million Apps on the AppStore, and cell phones full of pointless, mindless games. If your child has to have a screen in front on them (that is whole other blog.....), there are non-violent options. My kids find them just fine. I love The Walking Dead, but my brain is fully developed and I am prepared for what I see. My kids will be maybe ready for that too....when they are in high school....maybe later.
Comment #4: "This is just like Looney Tunes and dropping anvils on someone's head". Again, no. Looney tunes never used blood. Never. Also, it is "silly violence", not realistic violence. The most popular video games currently are what are known as "realistic violence" games, which are even different than Mortal Kombat that I grew up around. People killing people in bloody ways using real weapons is very different than a road runner dropping an anvil on a coyote or a mouse lighting a cat's tail on fire. Our kids brains are in development, but they are developed enough to tell the difference between those two types of violence. They are not always able to tell the difference between realistic violence and real life though.
Comment #5: "Gamers are not the ones shooting up these places, mentally disturbed people who happened to play games at some point in their life are shooting up these places". Well...not all gamers are shooting places up. In fact, most aren't. But the study didn't say video games cause teens to "shoot places up". It said it increases aggression and influence their future behavior. As mentioned earlier, teen gamers are now learning to not back down but to fight back. They are learning that violence isn't always bad, but many times can be rewarded with power and glory. And yes, without proper adult interaction and instruction, and with a brain that doesn't develop quite like the others, yes they might just be the next shooter. In fact, one of the most common factors in school shootings after mental health issues is exposure to violent video games and media. Several recent shooters even told police that they trained for these events by playing video games such as Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto. But even if you forget about the school shootings, aggression is still the cause of bullying, gang fighting and violence, school fights, and youth violence. And I dislike these just as much as the school shootings.
I could likely keep typing rebuttals to these comments, but I think you get the point. Good parenting and debriefing with a child after any violence, either video game, media, or real, can limit or even erase these effects. But as a full-time working parent with a wife who works full time as well, we can't debrief with our children all the time. We make the easiest decision of all: we try our best to not expose them to any violent media (not even the news at times) and when we do, we do it with purpose and we talk them through what they just saw. Parenting is tough and technology was supposed to make it easier, but for today's parent, it has actually made it tougher.
Bottom line is this: If we continue to ask the question "where did we go wrong? Why are our kids bullying each other? Why are kids so mean these days? Why are there so many school shootings and violence in young people?" And when studies come out simply stating that violent video games and violent media biologically can be altering the brain and behavior of our young people and this helps us answer at least a little piece of these complex questions, why do we immediately say "science is dumb, my kid's just fine playing whatever he/she wants."? Sometimes we ask questions we don't want the answers to. The question is....will we change?
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Body Image and the Media
In many ways kids today have more than most people could have ever imagined. They have access to people, programs, and information from all over the world at the push of a button available 24/7. They have more choices: from what they wear, what music they listen to, activities, who they relate to and spend time with, occupations, where they'll live, what they do on the weekend...the list goes on and on.
In this time of more, however, there are some distinct drawbacks. Overload from being connected 24/7, commonplace violence in the news, games, and movies, the need for immediate gratification. What I'd like to focus on today though, is the bombardment of media and social pressures on our kids to look a certain way.
Historically speaking, "skinny" wasn't always the sought-after goal. In earlier centuries, being skinny was a sign that a family did not have enough food or that illness was wide-spread. In the mid 20th century women were marketed with products to make them more curvaceous. Even as close as 25 years ago, models typically weighed 8% less than the "average" American. Today, the disparity is 23%. In fact, only 5% of the population would be able to attain the current media ideal (From "Mirror, Mirror"- Social Issues Research Centre). And the really sad part is that even those people are photoshopped and airbrushed to look different.
On one hand, kids (and adults) are being shown advertisements that make it seem like eating out, and eating a lot, is the way to go- giant cheeseburgers or super sized fries and big gulps of soda. It's easy to go through drive through, pick up the processed quick and easy meals at the grocery store, or snack on whatever bag of chips or fast food we can get at our local convenience store.
On the other hand, we're being shown that to be happy, to fit in, to "make it" in life, we need to be super skinny, have clear skin, perfect teeth, and wear the right clothes. It's in our tv ads, shows, movies, magazines, advertisements on games, music, and our internet searches.
Just today, I read an article and watched a video about a new app that had been removed from the iTunes and google play called "Plastic Surgery & Plastic Doctor & Plastic Hospital Office for Barbie." The problem: it promoted the notion that women need to be thin and that plastic surgery is the way to achieve that goal. And add that the app was geared towards kids as young as 9. You can check out the article and video here. (I found it interesting that on the page with the article and video there was an article about "how to look as gorgeous as an NFL cheerleader" and an advertisement for the newest diet pill.)
Another video to get you thinking comes from Dove's Campaign for real beauty showing how we describe ourselves versus how others see us...
It made me think about the conflicting messages that our students receive and how many of them take those messages to heart. It makes me wonder who their role models are? If we've taught them how to distinguish the messages they see and hear to determine what's real? If we've provided good examples of being loving towards our own bodies? I certainly like to think so, but I also realize that I am not immune to societal pressures- agonizing over those 5 or 10 pounds I'd like to lose, going to McDonalds because I'm too tired when I get home from work to cook a meal, or complaining about the size of some body part.
I love that there are more and more people everyday making the choice to be a role model for a healthy, whole body and mind. Check out some videos...
In this time of more, however, there are some distinct drawbacks. Overload from being connected 24/7, commonplace violence in the news, games, and movies, the need for immediate gratification. What I'd like to focus on today though, is the bombardment of media and social pressures on our kids to look a certain way.
Historically speaking, "skinny" wasn't always the sought-after goal. In earlier centuries, being skinny was a sign that a family did not have enough food or that illness was wide-spread. In the mid 20th century women were marketed with products to make them more curvaceous. Even as close as 25 years ago, models typically weighed 8% less than the "average" American. Today, the disparity is 23%. In fact, only 5% of the population would be able to attain the current media ideal (From "Mirror, Mirror"- Social Issues Research Centre). And the really sad part is that even those people are photoshopped and airbrushed to look different.
On one hand, kids (and adults) are being shown advertisements that make it seem like eating out, and eating a lot, is the way to go- giant cheeseburgers or super sized fries and big gulps of soda. It's easy to go through drive through, pick up the processed quick and easy meals at the grocery store, or snack on whatever bag of chips or fast food we can get at our local convenience store.
On the other hand, we're being shown that to be happy, to fit in, to "make it" in life, we need to be super skinny, have clear skin, perfect teeth, and wear the right clothes. It's in our tv ads, shows, movies, magazines, advertisements on games, music, and our internet searches.
Just today, I read an article and watched a video about a new app that had been removed from the iTunes and google play called "Plastic Surgery & Plastic Doctor & Plastic Hospital Office for Barbie." The problem: it promoted the notion that women need to be thin and that plastic surgery is the way to achieve that goal. And add that the app was geared towards kids as young as 9. You can check out the article and video here. (I found it interesting that on the page with the article and video there was an article about "how to look as gorgeous as an NFL cheerleader" and an advertisement for the newest diet pill.)
Another video to get you thinking comes from Dove's Campaign for real beauty showing how we describe ourselves versus how others see us...
It made me think about the conflicting messages that our students receive and how many of them take those messages to heart. It makes me wonder who their role models are? If we've taught them how to distinguish the messages they see and hear to determine what's real? If we've provided good examples of being loving towards our own bodies? I certainly like to think so, but I also realize that I am not immune to societal pressures- agonizing over those 5 or 10 pounds I'd like to lose, going to McDonalds because I'm too tired when I get home from work to cook a meal, or complaining about the size of some body part.
I love that there are more and more people everyday making the choice to be a role model for a healthy, whole body and mind. Check out some videos...
- Here's a great video from a sorority that started a "fat talk free" week back in 2008
- A clip from one of Jennifer Lawrence's interviews
- Dove's Evolution video (using photoshop)
- "She said it" Celebrity quotes
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