....And a discussion broke out after the movie! Actually, Kim Flagor-Fuller and I went to Fleur Cinema to watch the movie "Bully" and see what a couple of school counselors thought about the movie and the issue. What we didn't know is that a coordinated event was also planned for that same showing. So the theater was packed and as we watched the movie, the audience really got into it by clapping, groaning, or crying, depending on which part of the movie was currently playing. When it was done, a discussion facilitated by a Des Moines Register journalist was held and many in the audience got to voice their opinion, their frustrations, their ideas, and their solutions. So....what did I think of the movie? Well, it was very good and really does need to be seen by everyone. It really shows bullying and the effects it can have on not just the victim, but friends and families of the victim. I think it also shows what bullying truly is. Middle school and high school are tough places with hurtful words, jabs, and looks exchanged every second of every day. But sadly most of this is typical human behavior. However, some of it does rise to the level of bullying and that is what this movie portrays. It shows what happens if these hurtful words, jabs, and looks were done day after day after day. And the pain the movie shows is so real and so saddening....and maddening. The movie does not portray schools in the best light, especially Sioux City schools. But to Sioux City Public School's defense, they are the school leading the charge in making sure this movie gets into every possible school it can. They know they had a weakness and they are owning up to it and vowing to make things right. They are now hoping to lead the state and the nation into solving the bullying epidemic. The only issue I had with the movie is that it was not solution focused. It did a great job of showing the issue and all the pain it can cause, but it did not show how to solve any of these issues. It started to towards the end, but only the last few minutes and after that, the movie ended. I guess the solutions come from the discussion afterwards and I was glad to be a part of that. But I think this movie only works where those who watch it can discuss it afterwards and carry out there solutions to make them lasting solutions.
So, what did we learn from the post-movie discussion?? Well, I think I took away three things from the discussion....
1. Schools are a big part of the solution and they are not doing enough. It was tough to be a school counselor in a room full of people who just watched a movie showing schools failing at stopping bullying and then having those angry people express more anger and disappointment in local schools. Some stood up to support schools, but most did not. And to some extent....they are right. Schools do need to do more, even our school. I feel we do a pretty good job, but like Sioux City, we can always work on our weaknesses. The tough part that I have learned in my 11 years in education is that schools many times have their hands tied by regulations, rules, and procedures. Public schools cannot just suspend, expel, punish students however they want. There are all sorts of rules about amount of days, how it must work, and what supports must be provided. This frustrates parents when they want action, but in most cases the procedures are in place to make sure everything is done consistently and fairly to all involved. I know one thing I have learned in my research this semester is that most students just want to be heard, want a safe place to vent, and want to feel like they matter. I try to do that and plan to do an even better job of that going forward. We also plan to document each and every issue more than we currently do. But as the discussion continued, we learned schools are not the only problem...or the only solution....
2. Several people mentioned that many groups are responsible for the problem of bullying. And all of those groups are responsible for the solutions. Schools. Parents. Communities. Kids. Adults. Faith communities. Politicians. Everyone. These groups need to put their differences aside themselves, and work together to find and put into action some real solutions. The focus of the movie seemed to be that schools are at the heart of the problem and need to be at the forefront of the solutions, but really schools just happen to be where teens are most often. The problem is everywhere, so everyone needs to be part of the solution.
3. And maybe the best thing said all night was by a high school student. She said that all of these groups could do lots of things and adults in schools could put every rule and discipline into effect, but the problem will only get better when kids themselves work to solve it. She said the solution needs to be done by the kids. They need to join up and fight this issue. They need to support each other and stand up for each other. They need to lead by example. And they need to rise above the red tape that is holding the other groups back and solve it before it gets worse. Made me proud to think that maybe the best idea in the room tonight was from a student. That gives me hope, a lot of hope.
So....if you can get to the movie, go. If you can't, rent it late this summer and watch it with your family. Have a discussion before and after the movie and consider having that discussion often with your family, your community, your school, your church, and whatever groups you are a part of. The movie shows the problem of bullying. It is our turn to show the solutions.
