6th Graders, please take the following survey. Your answers will not be seen by anyone other than Mr. Barry and Ms. Flagor. The results from the 6th grade as a group will be reported to your 6th grade teachers. Mr. Barry and Ms. Flagor will review the individual results and may invite you to groups based on these results. If you are in immediate need of talking to someone, please stop down and visit with one of us.
Monday, November 12, 2018
Sunday, November 11, 2018
Great Links for Parents when it Comes to ESDs (Electronic Smoking Devices)
Instead of making a variety of posts on our Counseling Facebook page, I figured it would be easier to put all the links in one blog post. Thank you to ISTEP (Iowa Students for Tobacco Education and Prevention) for all of these links and more in their recent newsletter. Electronic Smoking Devices (ESDs) such as Vapes and JUULs have exploded in use in middle and high schools across the country including our own schools. Some kids don't think it is that big of a deal. But it is. For teens and adolescents, these are not "Smoking Cessation" devices, these devices are designed to encourage students to smoke more and more and even take up smoking cigarettes. The information is there, the research is there, but our kids aren't seeing it, hearing it, and/or believing it. As parents and adults, educating ourselves so we can educate our children is key. With that being said, please take some time to click on these links and review the information.
Infographic on what Juuls are and how they hurt our young people
4 things Parents need to know about Juuls
Another Infographic from the CDC on ESDs such as Juuls
Smoking E-cigarettes Increases Likelihood Adolescents Will Smoke Cigarettes
Infographic on what Juuls are and how they hurt our young people
4 things Parents need to know about Juuls
Another Infographic from the CDC on ESDs such as Juuls
Smoking E-cigarettes Increases Likelihood Adolescents Will Smoke Cigarettes
Thursday, September 27, 2018
8th Grade 2018-19 Needs Assessment
8th graders: Please take this Needs Assessment by clicking "Agree" or "Disagree" for each question. Make sure to type in your first name and last name in the first two questions. Please know that your answers may not be reviewed immediately, so if you do need to see Mr. Barry or Ms. Flagor about something important, come see them and do not wait for your survey to be reviewed. Your personal answers WILL NOT BE SHARED with anyone other than our counselors. Grade level data/answers will be shared with teachers, BUT NOT EACH STUDENT'S RESPONSES! Thank you!
8th Grade Bully/Harassment Survey
8th graders: Please take the following short survey and click submit at the bottom of the survey. We will use these results in a variety of ways to constantly improve how we work with students and staff on our Bullying and Harassment policies and procedures. Thank you!
Friday, August 3, 2018
Three Weeks Until School: How to Gently Get Your Child Back into School Mode!
Self-disclosure....I have 5 school-age kids now and the transition back to school has highs and lows. The highs are pretty much limited to the excitement of the first day and getting all dressed up and running on adrenaline. The lows....are pretty much everything else. Earlier to bed (I can't sleep..it's light out!), earlier getting up (what time is it? Where is the sun?), schedule changes all over, homework, sitting in a desk for 7 hours a day, earlier lunch and no mid-afternoon snack (so we won't eat lunch at 1 p.m. Dad?), evening practices, not enough time to do all the fun stuff we want to do, etc., etc., etc. Bottom-line, the two weeks it takes to adjust to this schedule is not fun for the kids or the parents. And I haven't even talked about the ramping up the skills needed to start at the next grade level. But, there are some simple things you can do to get your child ready for this change without having them freak out that you are ruining their summer (and if they do....remind them they got the first 10 weeks to do nothing, you are only using about an hour a day of their final 2-3 weeks!)
*Start slowly changing their sleeping hours. Depending on the age of your child, the times may be different, but my guess is they are going to bed later and waking up later than normal. This doesn't happen for everyone, but it does for most. For my oldest two (6th/9th grade), they are now going to bed around 10 and waking up around 8 or 9. Hmm....that won't work. I need them in bed at 9 and up at 6:30. So, in August, we try to get there by August 23rd a little at a time. Begin with the wake-up process. I'm now getting them up at 8 a.m. at the latest. Sometimes I go to "work" at 7:30 or 8, so I get them up even earlier to help with watching the little kids. Do I have to go to work? No. But, by doing so, they have to get up and get going with their day. Win-win! By August 20th or so, we hope to have everyone up and ready for the day by 7:15 or 7:30. Next, work on the bedtime. Our goal is to get kids in bed and reading by the time we would normally want them asleep on a school night in a few weeks. They don't have to be asleep, but in bed with devices off and reading with start training their brain that this is time for bed. By the first week of school, their brain will see this as normal. With all the anxiety and excitement of the first day and week of school, it will be tough to sleep anyway.
*Reading/Language Arts: If your child doesn't read daily, start this habit. It is the one habit that will not only help them in every subject in school, but study after study shows it leads to more success in life, a healthier life, and a longer life. Let your child pick the book or reading material, but don't settle for "I don't want to read", "I'm too old to read", or "No, I'm not reading." Here's a key point though....kids read more and fight you less if they see parents reading as well. So, find yourself a good book and take time each day to read. We pick a set time each day and call it "Reading time". Whole house shuts down and kids and parents read for 30 minutes. For my wife and I, it is one of our favorite times....it is QUIET and PEACEFUL! And I think it helps our stress level as well.
*Math: Elementary/Middle School age....take 5-10 minutes and do some basic math drills. If you have a device the kids like to play, put some math games on there and tell your child they have to do 10 minutes of math games if they want to play the device each day in August. There are a lot of fun math games out there. Find fun math videos on Youtube or online. Do practice problems. Take your child shopping and let them help you shop and explain how you are paying for it all. Financial literacy! Have your child pick up 10 toys and put them away. 20 toys! (Our house....20 toys each!). Anything to get your child using numbers and thinking numbers. Ten-fifteen minutes a day may not sound like much, but again, it gets the brain in number-mode which helps the transition back into math go much smoother.
*All the other stuff....science, social studies, foreign language, computers, etc. Well, your child has already committed to losing about an hour of daylight by changing sleeping habits and now another 30-60 minutes doing reading and math, so piece in the other parts where you can. Go to the State Fair and really take in all the exhibits and things to see. Visit the State Capitol Building. Go hiking or fishing. Watch some cool science or travel shows on TV. Download Duolingo to your device/child's device and brush up on their Spanish if they are 6th-12th grade (Duolingo is AWESOME!). But make learning fun. Teach your child that life-long learning is and can be fun.
*Devices. Oh....continue to use them but set limits. So much of the new research is really scary about smart phones/technology and use by teens (and all people). And please....please.....keep the technology out of the bedrooms. Studies are unanimous about that idea. Smart phones, laptops, TVs in the bedroom of a child is NOT GOOD. Did you know the blue screen of phones actually keeps us awake? Companies know that if they used a yellow/dim screen at night, it would trick our brain into producing sleep-inducing hormones and cause us to fall asleep. So they purposely chose a color that does the opposite so we use their product more!! So....keep the tech out of the bedrooms and build good sleeping habits with your children.
This may all sound like a lot, but really it is slight adjustments day by day to your child's sleep schedule and about 30-45 minutes a day of reading and some fun math stuff. You might be surprised at how it works and you may find your child has more immediate success to start the school year with their homework/grades.
*Start slowly changing their sleeping hours. Depending on the age of your child, the times may be different, but my guess is they are going to bed later and waking up later than normal. This doesn't happen for everyone, but it does for most. For my oldest two (6th/9th grade), they are now going to bed around 10 and waking up around 8 or 9. Hmm....that won't work. I need them in bed at 9 and up at 6:30. So, in August, we try to get there by August 23rd a little at a time. Begin with the wake-up process. I'm now getting them up at 8 a.m. at the latest. Sometimes I go to "work" at 7:30 or 8, so I get them up even earlier to help with watching the little kids. Do I have to go to work? No. But, by doing so, they have to get up and get going with their day. Win-win! By August 20th or so, we hope to have everyone up and ready for the day by 7:15 or 7:30. Next, work on the bedtime. Our goal is to get kids in bed and reading by the time we would normally want them asleep on a school night in a few weeks. They don't have to be asleep, but in bed with devices off and reading with start training their brain that this is time for bed. By the first week of school, their brain will see this as normal. With all the anxiety and excitement of the first day and week of school, it will be tough to sleep anyway.
*Reading/Language Arts: If your child doesn't read daily, start this habit. It is the one habit that will not only help them in every subject in school, but study after study shows it leads to more success in life, a healthier life, and a longer life. Let your child pick the book or reading material, but don't settle for "I don't want to read", "I'm too old to read", or "No, I'm not reading." Here's a key point though....kids read more and fight you less if they see parents reading as well. So, find yourself a good book and take time each day to read. We pick a set time each day and call it "Reading time". Whole house shuts down and kids and parents read for 30 minutes. For my wife and I, it is one of our favorite times....it is QUIET and PEACEFUL! And I think it helps our stress level as well.
*Math: Elementary/Middle School age....take 5-10 minutes and do some basic math drills. If you have a device the kids like to play, put some math games on there and tell your child they have to do 10 minutes of math games if they want to play the device each day in August. There are a lot of fun math games out there. Find fun math videos on Youtube or online. Do practice problems. Take your child shopping and let them help you shop and explain how you are paying for it all. Financial literacy! Have your child pick up 10 toys and put them away. 20 toys! (Our house....20 toys each!). Anything to get your child using numbers and thinking numbers. Ten-fifteen minutes a day may not sound like much, but again, it gets the brain in number-mode which helps the transition back into math go much smoother.
*All the other stuff....science, social studies, foreign language, computers, etc. Well, your child has already committed to losing about an hour of daylight by changing sleeping habits and now another 30-60 minutes doing reading and math, so piece in the other parts where you can. Go to the State Fair and really take in all the exhibits and things to see. Visit the State Capitol Building. Go hiking or fishing. Watch some cool science or travel shows on TV. Download Duolingo to your device/child's device and brush up on their Spanish if they are 6th-12th grade (Duolingo is AWESOME!). But make learning fun. Teach your child that life-long learning is and can be fun.
*Devices. Oh....continue to use them but set limits. So much of the new research is really scary about smart phones/technology and use by teens (and all people). And please....please.....keep the technology out of the bedrooms. Studies are unanimous about that idea. Smart phones, laptops, TVs in the bedroom of a child is NOT GOOD. Did you know the blue screen of phones actually keeps us awake? Companies know that if they used a yellow/dim screen at night, it would trick our brain into producing sleep-inducing hormones and cause us to fall asleep. So they purposely chose a color that does the opposite so we use their product more!! So....keep the tech out of the bedrooms and build good sleeping habits with your children.
This may all sound like a lot, but really it is slight adjustments day by day to your child's sleep schedule and about 30-45 minutes a day of reading and some fun math stuff. You might be surprised at how it works and you may find your child has more immediate success to start the school year with their homework/grades.
How Can I Talk to My Children About Who Contacts Them Online?
With school starting back up soon, kids will finally be seeing each other every day in real life and having real face-to-face conversations! But that doesn't seem to lessen the amount of time they spend online talking to each other either. And what I have learned, is as school starts up, some kids add new social media apps and accounts and start contacting all sorts of people they hear they should add and friend. 99% or more of these people are just other kids in their school and other school and likely safe online friends to have. But, this is also a great time for predators to try to start up conversations, online chats, or put out friend requests hoping a child or teenager will add them not thinking much about it.
My office hears from students throughout the year about creepers, stalkers, people who ask for pictures or information, people who pop up in chat messages asking very inappropriate questions, etc. If it hasn't happened to your child yet, it probably will. And then you have your child's actual peers and friends who sometimes will be inappropriate, ask for pictures or information, or threaten with pictures or information they say they have or can get. How does your child process through all this? How does your child respond? Well, many times they do it on their own. They are afraid or ashamed to reach out to a parent or a trusted adult. And other times they just feel they are old enough to handle these issues on their own. But these are issues that a parent should be involved in. Here's the trick...they probably aren't going to seek you out. They worry you will take their technology or social media accounts, worried you will make it into a big deal, worried you will make it worse, or worried you will be disappointed or angry with them. So the trick is that parents need to start the conversation and be calm, rational, and supportive. And LISTEN!! (Kids tell me all the time...I just want my parents to listen....not talk, not judge, not freak out....but just LISTEN!)
If you are not sure how to have these conversations or what to ask, well, I don't have the perfect answer but I think Common Sense Media has about as close as you can get to having a perfect parent/child conversation and discussion guide. So I will let them do the rest of the "talking". Please click the link below and read how you can have these discussions with your child.
Common Sense Media How to Talk to Your Child About Online Predators
My office hears from students throughout the year about creepers, stalkers, people who ask for pictures or information, people who pop up in chat messages asking very inappropriate questions, etc. If it hasn't happened to your child yet, it probably will. And then you have your child's actual peers and friends who sometimes will be inappropriate, ask for pictures or information, or threaten with pictures or information they say they have or can get. How does your child process through all this? How does your child respond? Well, many times they do it on their own. They are afraid or ashamed to reach out to a parent or a trusted adult. And other times they just feel they are old enough to handle these issues on their own. But these are issues that a parent should be involved in. Here's the trick...they probably aren't going to seek you out. They worry you will take their technology or social media accounts, worried you will make it into a big deal, worried you will make it worse, or worried you will be disappointed or angry with them. So the trick is that parents need to start the conversation and be calm, rational, and supportive. And LISTEN!! (Kids tell me all the time...I just want my parents to listen....not talk, not judge, not freak out....but just LISTEN!)
If you are not sure how to have these conversations or what to ask, well, I don't have the perfect answer but I think Common Sense Media has about as close as you can get to having a perfect parent/child conversation and discussion guide. So I will let them do the rest of the "talking". Please click the link below and read how you can have these discussions with your child.
Common Sense Media How to Talk to Your Child About Online Predators
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
Online (and Other) Babysitting Courses
So....my daughter has been asking for a year or so to sign her up for a babysitting course so she can be an official babysitter. I posted the question to Facebook and got a lot of great suggestions and links. Problem was most of the links were old. What I eventually found out was that there are a few communities who offer babysitting courses and by calling those communities (City Hall?), I am sure you could find out for sure or not if they are being offered. But we also found that the Red Cross offers an online Babysitting Course for less than $40 and everything can be completed through online modules. So we went with that option. After about 4 hours of work, my daughter is now a "Red Cross Certified Babysitter" and has already babysat once. So, what did she like and not like about the program? Here are her words....
Pros: You could work at your own pace, the program used real-life situations and you had to answer what you would do, you didn't have to travel anywhere, and the documents I could save and use for my babysitting business (things like a resume, a list of important numbers, and sheets you can bring to fill out after talking to the parents)
Cons: With our internet, our videos buffered a lot and this made it take longer, it didn't save my progress a few times (figured out it was best to finish a module completely and log out and then back in to be sure), a little tough to navigate into the program, and of course some things are best face-to-face.
Overall, she loved it and we watched her babysit soon after she finished and the course really made her seem to take the job seriously and put a lot of effort into her babysitting work. As parents, we were impressed. And being a Dad of 5 and not needing to drive my daughter to several classes was a nice perk!
So, if you are looking for a babysitting course, we would recommend the Red Cross course. We also considered doing the Urbandale course since it was offered at a variety of times.
Red Cross Childcare courses click here!
Urbandale course click here!
Pros: You could work at your own pace, the program used real-life situations and you had to answer what you would do, you didn't have to travel anywhere, and the documents I could save and use for my babysitting business (things like a resume, a list of important numbers, and sheets you can bring to fill out after talking to the parents)
Cons: With our internet, our videos buffered a lot and this made it take longer, it didn't save my progress a few times (figured out it was best to finish a module completely and log out and then back in to be sure), a little tough to navigate into the program, and of course some things are best face-to-face.
Overall, she loved it and we watched her babysit soon after she finished and the course really made her seem to take the job seriously and put a lot of effort into her babysitting work. As parents, we were impressed. And being a Dad of 5 and not needing to drive my daughter to several classes was a nice perk!
So, if you are looking for a babysitting course, we would recommend the Red Cross course. We also considered doing the Urbandale course since it was offered at a variety of times.
Red Cross Childcare courses click here!
Urbandale course click here!
Friday, June 8, 2018
Ask the Question. It's Tough, but You Need To.
I asked my son the question today. It was tough. It was awkward. I wasn't sure how to do it so I just did it and it still came out wrong. But I'm glad I asked. It is silly to stumble over such an important question. A question I ask at least once a week to students who visit my office. And even though it is tough with them as well, I don't stumble and it seems so natural. But when I tried to ask my son, I stuttered and felt weird for even asking. But I did it and I plan to do it again. And again.
"Have you ever thought of suicide? Have you ever thought of hurting yourself?"
He answered quickly, but I could still feel my pulse race wondering what he would say. But here's the thing...no matter what he answered, I was ready to support however I could. Suicide has been in the news a lot and the latest CDC report is something I can't get out of my head. 49 of 50 states have seen a rise in suicides since 2001, most of those dramatic increases. Iowa has had one of the highest increases at 36.2%. Read that number again: 36.2% more people in our state are dying by suicide than 2001. Only 3 of the top 10 causes of death are on the increase, suicide is one of them. Which group of people have seen the highest increase? Teenage girls. I work with 500 teens and preteens every day and I can tell you, this increase is real. Ten years ago, I spoke about suicide with about 3 students my first year as a counselor. This year, I lost count. I would estimate it at 15-20 kids. I didn't need this week's report to tell me what I was already seeing and hearing. Our kids are hurting and they want someone to listen.
Today, my son tells me he is fine. But things can change quickly. That same report showed something we didn't expect. Over half of the suicides were by people who had no known mental illness or issue leading up to the suicide. There were likely mental health issues, but who knows? The other causes found were to be relationship issues (break-ups, divorce, etc), financial problems, emotional distress. The students I spoke with this year? Sometimes there were mental health issues, but sometimes it was break-ups or simply living a life that didn't match to the standards everyone else seemed to be living (aka....seeing everyone's perfect life on Instagram and thinking that is what true life is). So, my son and my other four kids can and will experience these issues during their years of school. Today's question can't be the last time I ask. It needs to be one of many.
So what can we do to help our kids? Help our adult friends? Help anyone who may be struggling? Well, letting them know they can reach out to us is a great start. I saw many post just that on social media today and post the suicide hotline. But guess what? Many who are having these thoughts can't reach out. Don't want to reach out. Are in such a state that they can't. I recently watched the powerful documentary "Ripple Effect", a movie about Kevin Hines who jumped from the Golden Gate bridge trying to end his life but lived. He still struggles today but said when he was young he wanted to tell people how he felt but couldn't. He just needed someone to ask the question: "Kevin, have you ever thought of killing yourself?". He said if that had happened, he would have spilled his guts. It isn't enough to post "reach out of if you need someone to talk to" (although that is still awesome to do!). We have to reach out to people we see who may be hurting, struggling, simply not themselves. They want to tell us, but we have to ask. A national suicide expert I had the chance to spend the day with last year said we have to ask the tough question. We may not want to know the answer, but we have to ask. "Have you thought about killing yourself or harming yourself? Have you made a plan to do this?"
So parents, talk with your kids. Ask the questions. If the answer is yes, don't judge. Don't get mad. Don't freak out. Even if the answer is "yes", you have just started the process of healing. And by saying "yes", your child is letting you know they want to talk and want someone to listen. So ask a few more questions and just listen. Many teens/pre-teens have these thoughts, but they are just quick passing thoughts. Others spend more time thinking about suicide and self-harm. If this is your child, ask more questions and listen even more. And if their thoughts have progressed to a plan, go with your child to get professional help. And once you have tried this with your child, remember that adults are struggling too. The news this week hasn't been about teens, it has been about adults. So if you have friends struggling, ask the question. And listen. None of this is easy, but if we want to save someone's life, it is needed. And even if it isn't a life-threatening situation, just listening and having a conversation about the struggles a friend is going through is a pretty powerful and important thing to do anyway.
What else can you do? You can sure share the suicide hotline phone number (1-800-273-8255). But even better, is you can program that number into your phone. Talking with your child or that adult friend and if the answer is "yes", dial that number together. Advocate for mental health. Do not allow someone to say or write "Committed suicide". It isn't a crime anymore. We now know that a suicidal person is hurting so much that they are going against human's number one instinct: Self-survival. Can you imagine how much pain that must be to go against our basic code? So, people aren't committing suicide, they are suffering from it. I tweeted to CNN to change their headline today and by the time I sent my tweet they had already changed it. How else can you advocate for it? Well, Iowa is 50th out of 50 states in available mental health beds for people who need it. Everytime we get excited about a tax cut, remember cuts mean cuts to programs for our state and our health. We have cut mental health facilities and options over the last decade or so and now we are suffering the consequences. This past legislative season showed some promise with focus on mental health and new laws and funding for suicide and mental health. It is a start, but Iowa gets low grades/ratings for mental health and our 36% increase in suicides shows we have a long ways to go. And finally, write yourself a note or put something on your bathroom mirror or whatever you have to do to remind you to reach out to 1-3 people each week and connect with them. Ask them how they are doing. It can be friends you know are probably okay or friends you know might be struggling. But we need to start connecting with people again. And if they are struggling, guess what? We probably need to ask the question. And one more thing....we need to end the stigma of mental illness and mental health struggles. We need to get to a point where one person says they can't shake a cold and another person says they can't shake this depression and we don't think any less of either person. And we encourage both people to go see a doctor to get some help. We used to not understand the brain and mental health/illness so it was scary. We know much more now. It isn't as scary anymore. We need to treat mental health like we treat physical health. They are all part of our overall wellness.
I say all of this personally knowing several people and families affected by suicide. Many of these people did many of these strategies. They asked the questions. They sought help for their friend, their loved one, their child. They did all these things and yet a suicide still happened. Their pain is something I cannot comprehend. But their pain is also what pushes me every day to try to do anything I can to save someone else's life. I hope you can join me in trying to save the lives of others around us who are struggling and want to tell us what is going on but just need someone to listen. And for someone to ask. Are you thinking of harming yourself or killing yourself?
If you made it this far, please watch this 12 minute TED Video. It is one of the best videos I have seen on the topic of suicide.
"Have you ever thought of suicide? Have you ever thought of hurting yourself?"
He answered quickly, but I could still feel my pulse race wondering what he would say. But here's the thing...no matter what he answered, I was ready to support however I could. Suicide has been in the news a lot and the latest CDC report is something I can't get out of my head. 49 of 50 states have seen a rise in suicides since 2001, most of those dramatic increases. Iowa has had one of the highest increases at 36.2%. Read that number again: 36.2% more people in our state are dying by suicide than 2001. Only 3 of the top 10 causes of death are on the increase, suicide is one of them. Which group of people have seen the highest increase? Teenage girls. I work with 500 teens and preteens every day and I can tell you, this increase is real. Ten years ago, I spoke about suicide with about 3 students my first year as a counselor. This year, I lost count. I would estimate it at 15-20 kids. I didn't need this week's report to tell me what I was already seeing and hearing. Our kids are hurting and they want someone to listen.
Today, my son tells me he is fine. But things can change quickly. That same report showed something we didn't expect. Over half of the suicides were by people who had no known mental illness or issue leading up to the suicide. There were likely mental health issues, but who knows? The other causes found were to be relationship issues (break-ups, divorce, etc), financial problems, emotional distress. The students I spoke with this year? Sometimes there were mental health issues, but sometimes it was break-ups or simply living a life that didn't match to the standards everyone else seemed to be living (aka....seeing everyone's perfect life on Instagram and thinking that is what true life is). So, my son and my other four kids can and will experience these issues during their years of school. Today's question can't be the last time I ask. It needs to be one of many.
So what can we do to help our kids? Help our adult friends? Help anyone who may be struggling? Well, letting them know they can reach out to us is a great start. I saw many post just that on social media today and post the suicide hotline. But guess what? Many who are having these thoughts can't reach out. Don't want to reach out. Are in such a state that they can't. I recently watched the powerful documentary "Ripple Effect", a movie about Kevin Hines who jumped from the Golden Gate bridge trying to end his life but lived. He still struggles today but said when he was young he wanted to tell people how he felt but couldn't. He just needed someone to ask the question: "Kevin, have you ever thought of killing yourself?". He said if that had happened, he would have spilled his guts. It isn't enough to post "reach out of if you need someone to talk to" (although that is still awesome to do!). We have to reach out to people we see who may be hurting, struggling, simply not themselves. They want to tell us, but we have to ask. A national suicide expert I had the chance to spend the day with last year said we have to ask the tough question. We may not want to know the answer, but we have to ask. "Have you thought about killing yourself or harming yourself? Have you made a plan to do this?"
So parents, talk with your kids. Ask the questions. If the answer is yes, don't judge. Don't get mad. Don't freak out. Even if the answer is "yes", you have just started the process of healing. And by saying "yes", your child is letting you know they want to talk and want someone to listen. So ask a few more questions and just listen. Many teens/pre-teens have these thoughts, but they are just quick passing thoughts. Others spend more time thinking about suicide and self-harm. If this is your child, ask more questions and listen even more. And if their thoughts have progressed to a plan, go with your child to get professional help. And once you have tried this with your child, remember that adults are struggling too. The news this week hasn't been about teens, it has been about adults. So if you have friends struggling, ask the question. And listen. None of this is easy, but if we want to save someone's life, it is needed. And even if it isn't a life-threatening situation, just listening and having a conversation about the struggles a friend is going through is a pretty powerful and important thing to do anyway.
What else can you do? You can sure share the suicide hotline phone number (1-800-273-8255). But even better, is you can program that number into your phone. Talking with your child or that adult friend and if the answer is "yes", dial that number together. Advocate for mental health. Do not allow someone to say or write "Committed suicide". It isn't a crime anymore. We now know that a suicidal person is hurting so much that they are going against human's number one instinct: Self-survival. Can you imagine how much pain that must be to go against our basic code? So, people aren't committing suicide, they are suffering from it. I tweeted to CNN to change their headline today and by the time I sent my tweet they had already changed it. How else can you advocate for it? Well, Iowa is 50th out of 50 states in available mental health beds for people who need it. Everytime we get excited about a tax cut, remember cuts mean cuts to programs for our state and our health. We have cut mental health facilities and options over the last decade or so and now we are suffering the consequences. This past legislative season showed some promise with focus on mental health and new laws and funding for suicide and mental health. It is a start, but Iowa gets low grades/ratings for mental health and our 36% increase in suicides shows we have a long ways to go. And finally, write yourself a note or put something on your bathroom mirror or whatever you have to do to remind you to reach out to 1-3 people each week and connect with them. Ask them how they are doing. It can be friends you know are probably okay or friends you know might be struggling. But we need to start connecting with people again. And if they are struggling, guess what? We probably need to ask the question. And one more thing....we need to end the stigma of mental illness and mental health struggles. We need to get to a point where one person says they can't shake a cold and another person says they can't shake this depression and we don't think any less of either person. And we encourage both people to go see a doctor to get some help. We used to not understand the brain and mental health/illness so it was scary. We know much more now. It isn't as scary anymore. We need to treat mental health like we treat physical health. They are all part of our overall wellness.
I say all of this personally knowing several people and families affected by suicide. Many of these people did many of these strategies. They asked the questions. They sought help for their friend, their loved one, their child. They did all these things and yet a suicide still happened. Their pain is something I cannot comprehend. But their pain is also what pushes me every day to try to do anything I can to save someone else's life. I hope you can join me in trying to save the lives of others around us who are struggling and want to tell us what is going on but just need someone to listen. And for someone to ask. Are you thinking of harming yourself or killing yourself?
If you made it this far, please watch this 12 minute TED Video. It is one of the best videos I have seen on the topic of suicide.
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
College Visit and Naviance!
8th Graders.....February is going to be a BUSY MONTH! Starting today (I know, it is still January) we will begin using Naviance, our new college and career research and exploratory program that our 6th-12th graders are able to use. This system has a TON of things you can do and we will be doing about 5-6 items as part of our 8th grade checklist. By doing these certain items, we feel you will be better prepared to make college and career decisions which should help you make decisions about your high school career and course selections. We will continue to use this system a few times in February and you can use it on your own at any time as well.
Sign in link click here!
username: lastname.firstname
password: your lunch number JUST ONCE for example "1234"
Also, all of you will be visiting a college campus on Wednesday, February 21st. We will be taking buses to 4 different college campuses for some activities, a tour, and a great lunch. We hope to put each student in their first or second choice. So please take the survey below and pick a different college or university for each choice. If you pick the same college/university for more than one choice, you will not get to go to your first or possibly even second choice. Only other thing to do is cross your fingers that we have sunny and 60 degree weather on that day! :)
Sign in link click here!
username: lastname.firstname
password: your lunch number JUST ONCE for example "1234"
Also, all of you will be visiting a college campus on Wednesday, February 21st. We will be taking buses to 4 different college campuses for some activities, a tour, and a great lunch. We hope to put each student in their first or second choice. So please take the survey below and pick a different college or university for each choice. If you pick the same college/university for more than one choice, you will not get to go to your first or possibly even second choice. Only other thing to do is cross your fingers that we have sunny and 60 degree weather on that day! :)
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