How Can I Talk to My Children About Who Contacts Them Online?

   With school starting back up soon, kids will finally be seeing each other every day in real life and having real face-to-face conversations! But that doesn't seem to lessen the amount of time they spend online talking to each other either. And what I have learned, is as school starts up, some kids add new social media apps and accounts and start contacting all sorts of people they hear they should add and friend. 99% or more of these people are just other kids in their school and other school and likely safe online friends to have. But, this is also a great time for predators to try to start up conversations, online chats, or put out friend requests hoping a child or teenager will add them not thinking much about it.
    My office hears from students throughout the year about creepers, stalkers, people who ask for pictures or information, people who pop up in chat messages asking very inappropriate questions, etc. If it hasn't happened to your child yet, it probably will. And then you have your child's actual peers and friends who sometimes will be inappropriate, ask for pictures or information, or threaten with pictures or information they say they have or can get. How does your child process through all this? How does your child respond? Well, many times they do it on their own. They are afraid or ashamed to reach out to a parent or a trusted adult. And other times they just feel they are old enough to handle these issues on their own. But these are issues that a parent should be involved in. Here's the trick...they probably aren't going to seek you out. They worry you will take their technology or social media accounts, worried you will make it into a big deal, worried you will make it worse, or worried you will be disappointed or angry with them. So the trick is that parents need to start the conversation and be calm, rational, and supportive. And LISTEN!! (Kids tell me all the time...I just want my parents to listen....not talk, not judge, not freak out....but just LISTEN!)
    If you are not sure how to have these conversations or what to ask, well, I don't have the perfect answer but I think Common Sense Media has about as close as you can get to having a perfect parent/child conversation and discussion guide. So I will let them do the rest of the "talking". Please click the link below and read how you can have these discussions with your child.

Common Sense Media How to Talk to Your Child About Online Predators