I will be the first to admit it, I might be addicted to technology. This coming from a guy who once said he would never own a cell phone and only finally agreed to get a phone (but not use it!) because his pregnant wife said he needed one just in case she went into labor. Fast-forward 10 years and 5 kids later, and I have my cell phone by me 24 hours a day. But what really worries me is when my 5-year old son says his best friend is "the IPad" and when asked what he is thankful for, his answer is "IPad!". Um...we have a problem. Fortunately, all problems can be solved or at least worked on. And fortunately, a radio DJ this weekend had several solutions we, as parents, can try. So, if your kids are like mine (or better or worse), here is a list of things you can try.
1. Sit down and have a conversation with them about technology use. And write up some expectations (rules, contract....whatever you want to call it). This doesn't make you bad parents for not laying down the law. Kids will buy into the expectations more if they have some input. They may surprise you with what their limits should be. This conversation should include all types of technology, not just phones or IPads, but game systems, E-readers, etc. But get the expectations in writing so everyone can agree upon it and review it from time to time and maybe update it.
2. Create Tech-Free zones. The dinner table, after 9 p.m., during homework time, church, etc. This can be part of your family discussion. But technology should not interrupt family time or other important times. As for late night technology use, screens are not good just before bedtime. It affects all of us and our ability to fall asleep quickly and have good, sound sleep. Pre-teens and teens don't really need technology in their room, but if they do, make sure it isn't keeping them up at night. Believe it or not, I have several students who wake up in the middle of the night (some even set their alarms!) and play on their phones or watch Netflix from 2-5 a.m.!! Technology is supposed to be useful and fun, not limit our family time or hurt our bodies. These Tech-Free zones might help us all get our families, and our sleep, back!
3. Discuss what Technology we are all using and why? Reading a book on an E-Reader or playing Cool Math Games online....not a bad choice for technology. Playing Call of Duty and killing video-humans or zombies for hours on end....probably not the best choice. Playing candy crush on a smart phone all through dinner versus texting back and forth with a friend who just moved away and had a rough first day at his new school.....pretty easy choice as to which is good and which is bad. Again, technology is meant to help us, not make us into mindless drones. It is no secret that the most popular games have endless levels and give extra lives and powerups. Remember the good ol' days when you have 3 PacMan lives and if you died 3 times you went back to your seat at Pizza Hut and enjoyed your family and good pizza. Well, technology creators have solved this problem by making sure kids and teens can play over and over and over and never quit if they want. A little mindless fun is okay every now and then, but if it is consuming their time and causing other things to not get done (homework, chores), then it is a problem. Not to mention what games, apps, social networking sites are appropriate vs. non-appropriate for certain ages.
4. Be there with your child when they are using technology as much as possible. Not only can you monitor their time, but you can monitor what they are doing with that time. Safe and appropriate use is key as they are learning and consuming technology. We wouldn't let our children drive a car without going through many steps and having us along their side and we wouldn't allow them to work a job without some training and a boss and co-workers supporting their learning, so why would we let them use technology without our help, support, and monitoring?
5. Last, but not least.....reflect on your technology use. I will admit it, my kids use technology a lot because I do. But I am getting better at modeling how I use technology so my kids see this and hopefully follow my lead. This means no phone or tablet at the dinner table, no texting and driving, no violent or pointless video games, and other expectations I want my kids to follow. I do have the urge to do these things sometimes, but I push that urge aside not just for me, but for my kids. Learning by example and observation is what kids do best, so no matter what rules and things you try to do, if you can't stick to them, your kids likely will not be able to either.
I will leave you with this video which I have seen before, but I saw it on a few sites as I researched for this blog. It is a good reminder why we should not be glued to our screens.
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