Bullying and some of its ultimate worst-case scenario outcomes like suicide have been in the news almost daily. And when something is in the news, people start talking about it and asking questions. Over my weekend, I try to read up on blogs and news that I follow online and came across a great blog post about what parents can do to help their children if they are being bullied. I have posted a link below. I have also listed some of my opinions and ideas on the matter of bullying and what a parent can do.
1. Communicate. This HAS to be the #1 way to solve and help most problems, but especially in the case of bullying. As parents, we need to communicate with our children about their day, their friends, their events, and anything else we can think of. But it takes work so that your child knows you are not out to invade their privacy, but simply want to know more about their life and how you can help if they are having problems. Kids need to learn to be independent, but when it comes to being a victim of bullying, this is when teamwork and parental and school support is needed.
2. Strategize and Brainstorm. If you find out your child is being bullied and your child opens up to you, start working on strategies and ideas to help avoid, limit, and end the bullying. Lots of ideas and strategies are needed because several may not work. The one problem with this idea is that bullying has changed a lot since we were young. Bullying is now more and more done using technology and some strategies of our generation no longer work.
3. Tell adults who interact with your child. Don't wait until it gets too bad and the problem gets out of hand...tell someone. It could be the counselor (me!), the principal, or even the teachers or your child's friend. The school can help, doctors can help, friends can help. Bullies struggle to operate when others know what they are doing. I'm not saying everyone has to know, but having some extra eyes observe the situation can help. And in our school's case, we can get these things documented and disciplinary actions can be taken if they are needed.
4. If it is Cyber, print, save, file, etc. If bullying is online, through a text, on a website, or any other version of technology, print these messages. Even if they happen at home, they still affect your child and their school performance and having these hurtful things saved and printed can be useful to the school officials should the problem get worse and cause school-related problems. And this is a reminder about why bullying is such a problem nowadays....it can happen 24 hours a day! Again, I have worked with students who have received bullying texts at 3 or 4 a.m. in the morning! The other thing a parent can do when it comes to cyber-bullying is simply monitor your child's use of technology. Again, not saying you have to read every text or email they send, but there is nothing an 11, 12, or 13-year old should be saying in a text or email that a parent shouldn't see. And kids can go online on many devices, but they can't go online in private if all those devices are in a central area of the house....including their cell phone!
So, that is a lot to take it, but it is important. Our nation and our schools have seen a spike in suicides that have been linked to relentless bullying and it has to stop. It stops when schools educate, parents monitor and care for their children, and friends stick up for each other and understand that technology can be pretty damaging if they don't think about how they are using it. As a counselor, I am sickened by the stories I have been reading and hearing and I so badly want the pain and suffering of the victims of bullying to stop, but I know I am just one piece of the bullying solution puzzle. For more information, read this blog post about what parents can do:
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