Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Cybersafety and Cyberbullying



When walking around KidsFest with my own kids, I got a ton of information from a booth about Preventing Child Abuse. The information was wide-ranging, so I plan to post some of it in my blog in a series of posts on different topics. All of this information comes from a group with their own website: www.preventchildabusenc.org Please visit their site and see what else they have for information or resources.


First off, here are some tips the group had on keeping your kids safe on the Internet. I have summarized and paraphrased in order to keep the information short and sweet!

*Be computer literate and know what websites your children are visiting. Visit these sites and look around to see if they are appropriate and safe.

*Be willing to restrict access to certain sites, chat rooms, etc. Your internet provider can help you with how to do this. You want your children to be independent and free, but you are still the parent and need to set boundaries. As they grow and mature, some of these sites may become more appropriate.

*Set up guidelines for time on the Internet and where they go. Make a sign as a reminder and post this near the computer or in their room.

*Open lines of discussion early so that kids know they can come to you if they get messages, emails, chat messages, etc. that make them feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Help your children understand how good some people are at tricky young people into thinking they are someone different or have only good intentions.

*Keep the computer in a high traffic area of the house. This includes the Ipod, tablet PC, cell phone, or anything else that has the internet on it.

*Make sure you know what personal information your child is sharing online and where this information goes. If someone solicits or contacts your child unwantedly, get the police involved.

*And watch for Cyberbullying that may be occurring. Monitor your child's social networks, chatrooms, or IMs. This is where a bully or bullies like to attack. Speaking of Cyberbullying....


So, if you liked those tips, here are more tips and ideas, this time in the area of preventing Cyberbullying.

(But if you are unfamiliar with what Cyberbullying is and why it is so different and so much worse than bullying when we were all in school, please visit an earlier post by me found HERE. Also, you can click on the tag "bullying" at the end of this post and you will get all of my previous posts about bullying on one page)

*Cyberbullying is when a child is threatened harrassed, humiliated, or targeted by another person(s) through the use of internet or technology.

*Victims often have lower self-esteem, feel scared/angry/and depressed, increased anxiety often affects their school work and performance, and can lead to mental health problems.

*Cyberbullies act for the normal bully reasons: anger, frustration, revenge, power. But they also use the cyberbully method because they are online and bored, looking for a reaction, and can many times quickly erase some of their evidence.

*40% of kids have been victims of cyberbullying and cyberbullying typically begins around the middle school years and can continue into the child's college years. Talking with your child before middle school begins and before they start social networking sites or surfing the net can only help.

*Simply ask your child if they know what cyberbullying is and if they feel they have ever been a victim.

*Many people who get bullied will turn and cyberbully another as size and looks don't matter. Talk with your child about online expectations and what is not accepted. Use the old "what if you were them, how would you feel" method. This simple method works most of the time.

*If your child is being cyberbullied, DO NOT immediately take away all electronics and online capabilities of your child. If you do this, you have punished the victim. Have the child "Stop, block, and delete" anything from the bully. Print any evidence before you do this. And as tempting as it sometimes is....do not respond to the bully, nor have your child respond. Responding negatively is the equivalent of fighting back and then both kids could get in trouble.

*So if you don't respond back and your child stays online, what do you do? If it worsens or continues beyond a one-time event, report to school, bully's parent, authorities, etc. Sometimes, students think if it happens outside of school then it is not a school issue and they cannot be punished. Well....if the victim starts skipping school or grades drop due to the constant online bullying, then it becomes a school issue. Many times talking with the school, the counselor, or the bully's parents can help solve the situation. If it doesn't, the police/authorities are the best place to turn to for help.


Hopefully, these tips and ideas have helped you learn more about what to do as your child grows up "online". If you have further questions, please visit these sites or contact me. Thank you!






And thanks again to Prevent Child Abuse, North Carolina for much of this information!




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