Des Moines Register Feature Sunday Article About Facebook, Parents, and Their Kids

Sunday's Des Moines Register's feature story was about Facebook usage among teens and pre-teens and their parents. I have received this question from time to time as a middle school counselor: "Should I allow my child to have a facebook account?" There is no great answer to that question and truly it is a question that parents has to answer for themselves. But I think this Register article (link below) has a great conversation and gives some good advice. My advice is pretty similar. I think Facebook can be a great tool and has many positive uses, but as a parent myself, my children's first Facebook friend will be me and I will have their password so that I can log into their account at any time. But isn't this invading my child's privacy? No. Reading their diary and unlocking something in their room to see what inside would be invading their privacy. Facebook is a social network where the whole point is that what is said is not private. In Life Skills we teach to never write/say anything online that you don't want the whole world, your teachers, and your parents to know. So....if you don't want Dad and Mom to know, don't post it!! But enough from me, read what a professional journalist and several local people who were interviewed have to say....

Des Moines Register article "Teens, Parents Face off Over Facebook" click here!

Facebook Predator is a Good Reminder to All Students to be Safe Online

If you don't know the story, click on this KCCI link to watch the video story. This story was forwarded around Central Iowa this past week and I think I received it about 4 times. And it is an important story even if it has not affected Carlisle....yet. The important part is that this is a great reminder how young people need to be smart and safe when online. When we decided to get the 8th graders up and blogging, I was hoping this would constantly give me chances to talk to the kids about their online behavior and online life. What they should post, not post, how they should post, where they should post, and who might be looking at the things they are doing. Would you believe that most 8th graders have a Facebook and most of their Facebook walls are visible to the public? Yep, it's true! And many 8th graders have admitted to accepting a friend invite on Facebook of someone they did not know, but they thought they knew that person or a friend of theirs was a friend of this person, so why not accept? Technology is fun and social networks are some of the most fun parts of technology, but they are not risk-free. Predators of children and other adults who have not-so-nice motives are USUALLY smarter than our students and almost always smarter than me! We can't just assume we are bullet proof and the bad things that happen won't happen to us. We must protect ourselves in at least some very simple ways. Here is some of my quick advice regarding Facebook

1. Make your wall, photos, and information only visible to friends. No reason to have your information public.

2. Limit the amount of personal information you post. This includes pictures. I purposely do not post many pictures of my kids on Facebook. I would love for people to see my kids, but I don't want my kids' photos all over the Internet.

3. You don't have to accept every friend invite. If you are their TRUE FRIEND in life, accept them. Even if you just know of them, don't accept it. If you are getting up to 200, 300, 400 or more friends (and most middle school kids are), you are friending too much!

4. Think before you post....every time! Think about what your post may mean to others, how it will affect others, and who will see it. We talk about this with our blogs, but we could talk about it everyday if we wanted to. Also, never post when emotional...and teens can be emotional often. Take a break and relax before putting your feelings online. Or better yet, talk to someone about your feelings and do not post them to hundreds.

5. Report, print, and record. If you feel uncomfortable by anything online or something doesn't feel right, print the screen immediately. Smart predators (and bullies) will remove their post once they are sure it has done its job. Write information down. Report what happened to an adult and delete the person from your friend list if possible.

Here are some great Facebook and online safety sources:

Great Guide to Facebook for parents!

SafeKids tips!

CommonSense Media.org article (one of my favorite websites by the way!)

If you have any questions, please contact me or any school counselor.

This Picture is Really Worth a Thousand Words!

Maybe the best and easiest graphic I have come across when it comes to what students (and adults) post online. I am going to print this out and put it in our computer labs and outside my office. At home, you might consider printing it out and putting it near the family computer, near any other computer workspace, or maybe even in your child's room....on their wall (right next to the Justin Bieber poster?!). Lots of good stuff in the picture, so I will stop typing and let you look at the picture again

Facebook Guide for Parents

Parents (and maybe students): Do you want to learn all about Facebook and how it can be safely used? Do you want to know what your teenager is getting into? Well, the link I am providing gives you a 32-page "book" to read. It is titled "A Parent's Guide to Facebook" and is pretty thorough. I have read bits and pieces and found it pretty helpful. Facebook or any social network is a tool, and a great tool at that. It can be great for education and great for socializing and is fast becoming a necessary way for young people to stay connected and feel connected. However, social networks can be very damaging and dangerous if used incorrectly. So, please take a look at this short book all about Facebook and safety while using it.

A Parent's Guide to Facebook (click link to read the 32-page book)

Six Things Not to Post on Your Facebook Account

Although geared more for adults, I still wanted to post a link to some great advice. Each of the six items could relate to young people and young people might be the least understanding of these rules and make the most mistakes, so I think they could use this information. However, all the parents, adults, and even I could use this information. I love the reasons they give on why not to post these six things...makes sense and is kind of scary. Anyway, click on the link and see how many of these you do. I have to admit...I do some of these!

Six Things You Should Never Reveal on Facebook by Kathy Kristof