Angry People Respond to Rewards more than Threats

I learned of a new study from Larry Ferlazzo's blog that I found kind of interesting. I plan to see if any follow-up research is done and what those findings are. The results of this study affect the way we parent (including me!) and teach (again, including me!). The study shows that when anger is expressed as an emotion, the person showing anger may actually respond better to rewards more than threats or negative consequences. Parents and teachers tend to move to consequences and threats when emotions get heated and a child gets angry. Yet this study shows that maybe some reminders about the rewards and positive results of good behavior and less anger can actually motivate the child to behave again and let go of their anger. Hmmm.....interesting research and definitely research that makes me think more about the way I parent or teach. Any thoughts?

Link to study: http://esciencenews.com/articles/2010/08/11/people.who.are.angry.pay.more.attention.rewards.threats

So your Child Wants a "Facebook", What to Do?

First off, in order to have a Facebook account, a child has to be 13 years of age. But, millions of kids under the age of 13 already have a Facebook, so that rule doesn't seem to really be working. So, what does a parent do when their child begs to start up a Facebook account. Or maybe they already started one somehow without you knowing?? Either way, the next step might be keeping them safe and teaching them digital citizenship, how to be responsible online, and internet and social network safety.

I did a poll in my 6th grade Life Skills last year involving technology and here some interesting stats that I found:

*92.2% of Carlisle 6th graders have a computer at their house they can use (this does not count hand-held devices that can go online)

*57.5% belong to a Social networking site such as Facebook, MySpace, and Ning, with nearly all of those students saying Facebook was where their account was.

*26% admitting to being an "online friend" of a person they did not know, did not talk to outside of school, or did not like.

*26% admitted to being bullied by someone using technology through IM, social network sites, chat functions, or through text messages.

*Only 38.1% said their parents review or would review their social networking posts or text messages.

*Only 34.7% said they tell or would tell their parents if they were being bullied or harrassed.

So, what does this all mean? It means your 11-year old is likely to on Facebook or wanting to be on it. Your 13 or 14-year old is VERY LIKELY to be on Facebook or wanting to be on it. And when using Facebook, they are very possibly "friending" people they don't know or only their friends know and it is also very likely parents are not checking in on their facebook to see how they are using it or what they are saying on it. All this can lead to some dangerous outcomes down the road and since these social networking sites are fairly new, very few people know the short-term and long-term risks of putting your life out for others to see.

The following link seemed to answer about every question I had, even questions my own mother has about Facebook. Give it a read and see if it answers your questions. Feel free to leave comments about your experiences or questions about this very important topic.

http://www.surfnetkids.com/safety/facebook/

Eating Disorders in the News...What Can Parents Do?

I read every word of the recent story in the Des Moines Register about the story of Krista Phelps, a great track athlete and student, who passed away earlier this summer due to complications brought on by anorexia. I am not sure how long the story will be available through the Register's online website, but here is the link:

http://www.desmoinesregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=20108010342

I have posted the full article and information that accompanies the article in my Life Skills room on our "Health and Mental Health in the News" bulletin board. It is a tough read at times, but an important read for students and parents and it works to get the discussion going as to what can we do to work with students or children who suffer from eating disorders.

First off, learning the warning signs that an eating disorder might be present. This WebMD article does a great job of laying out some signs bullet point by bullet point of anorexia and bulimia.

http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/how-to-spot-eating-disorder

Next, treating the disorder. Although I have a Master's in School Counseling, if a student is suffering from an eating disorder, that student likely needs more support and treatment than I can give. Talking about it is the first step, and one of the hardest steps. From there, consulting your family doctor and going from there is next. This link has a ton of information, but towards the bottom it gives tips for how to talk to someone you feel might be suffering from an eating disorder, how to suggest treatment, and what treatments are available. My role in all of this would likely be in support and post-treatment help and support.

http://helpguide.org/mental/eating_disorder_treatment.htm

My last link is one geared more for teens and comes from the Center for Young Women's Health. But let's make sure we remember, eating disorders are not just found in girls and women, they can be in adolescent boys and men as well, just not as likely. We need to be on the lookout for anyone showing the signs of an eating disorder, not just middle school girls.

http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/eating_disorders.html

Email me if you have questions or feel free to leave a comment

Supplies! Supplies! Supplies!

Well, it is Back to School time and that can mean many things, but one thing it definitely means is "Supplies, supplies, supplies"! Our counselors worked with local churches and Kid's Hope and even the Des Moines schools to obtain a large variety of supplies and backpacks. We have already handed out and delivered many supplies and backpacks to students in need this year in our district, but we always have leftovers for the school year. We know life brings its ups and downs and lately the downs have been coming more often for many in our community (not to mention nationwide), so if you feel your school children are in need of some of these supplies, stop by our counseling offices or have your child stop in and we will make sure they have all the supplies they need. We believe no child should have his or her potential affected simply because of lack of adequate school supplies. If we do not have something they need for school, we will try to track it down so that they do have it. We want this year to get off to a great start and that means getting all students set up for success from day one! Email me at the middle school for more information.

Less Sleep = Depression? New Study Shows Possibility

In a recent Scientific American Study, results show enforcing a "bedtime" could be extremely important in your child's mental health. The link at the bottom has the full story, but take a look at this small excerpt:

"Columbia University scientists found that depression was 24 percent more common in teens whose parents let them go to bed at midnight or later than in kids whose moms and dads required them to hit the pillow by 10 p.m. The night owls were also 20 percent more likely to have suicidal thoughts."

Middle School is already scary enough and as middle schoolers change, their hormones and body chemicals change too. This causes them to have mood swings (remember that age?!) and a harder time to keep steady with their moods and focus. This study shows that lack of sleep just adds more on top of these already difficult times and makes depression or suicidal thoughts an even bigger possibility. As a counselor, this scares me, but I have to admit that I see some of this first hand every year. I do some informal questioning of my students about bedtimes and sleep amounts and it does seem to show that the less sleep a student gets, the more likely it is that I will see them about possible depression, large mood swings, or even suicidal thoughts during the year.

So, as the school year starts, give this study a quick read and maybe even discuss the contents with your children and discuss why a good night's sleep is important, not just for those ITBS weeks, but for their own mental health during the year.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=less-sleep-linked-to-blues-in-teens

Red Ribbon Week is Coming!!!

KICKOFF RED RIBBON WEEK

Red Ribbon Week is being celebrated October 23-31. As a kickoff to Red Ribbon Week we would like all students, teachers, and community members to WEAR RED on Friday, October 23^rd. The Carlisle High School JEL/SADD group will be kicking off this year's theme "Our goal is to be alcohol, drug, and tobacco free" at the home football game Friday, October 23^rd. The group will be conducting activities throughout the week to spread awareness about the harmful effects of substance use to students in the district.

Red Ribbon Week was originally created to honor the memory of U.S. Special Agent Enrique "Kiki" Camarena, who gave his life in the fight against drugs. He was killed after discovering a multibillion dollar drug ring in Mexico that slipped drugs over the border and had a history of violent encounters. The week has since evolved into a country-wide week dedicated to preventing drug use and showing the pledge that many students have taken to stay drug free.

H1N1 Virus Cases Being Confirmed Around the State....Even in Carlisle!

Friday, we learned of our first confirmed case of H1N1 at Carlisle, a case in the high school. Since predictions state as many as half of the American population could contract the virus at some point this year, we knew it was only a matter of time before our first confirmed case. However, this was earlier than our district had hoped. Staff and school nurses have been working with students on how to protect themselves from contracting this virus with hygiene lessons, tips on how to cough/sneeze into elbows (not hands), and what to do if someone gets ill from anything, especially the virus. While there will certainly be more students who get the H1N1 virus, following simple hygiene tips and using safety at all times will keep any outbreak contained as best as possible.

Please visit the CDC site often if you have questions and of course, don't believe everything you read online! When in doubt, refer to the CDC site:

http://www.cdc.gov/

New Student Group Meets

After postponing the first meeting, the Middle School New Student group met after school Thursday with about 12 students showing up. The students got a chance to introduce themselves, have a snack, and play a game/activity for prizes. Through this activity, students got to know even more about themselves. My favorite part was learning that we had students come to our school from just a nearby Des Moines school and a student come from New Hampshire! Wow...what a difference! The next new student group will meet Thursday, September 10th, after school in the Life Skills room.

Recent Abduction Attempts Means We Need to Keep Watch!

Recent abduction attempts in central Iowa towns, even Hartford, have all us taking a little extra time to notice our surroundings, especially around our kids and our students. As a parent, please keep up to date on the latest news and descriptions of what the vehicles and people look like in these suspected abduction attempts. But also talk to your child about "stranger danger" and how to say "No". I have copy/pasted a helpful site below with some tips, but talk about strategies for your child to attract attention to the situation such as yelling/screaming, shouting "NO!", and running away. If you are present, try to get a detailed description of both the vehicle and person in the vehicle. In all the cases so far, no one has remembered the license plate, but if they did, that would have really helped.

Please know that your teachers and counselors are also keeping any eye out for any suspicious activity and suspicous looking people in and around our building. We now wear name badges both inside and outside our building to identify us. With the high school and Hartford remodeling, we are adding in extra safety and security items to our building as well. Hopefully, no more abductions or attempted abductions will happen in our area, but preparing our students and children now will help keep them safe in the future.

Tips for kids and parents:
http://www.villageofworth.com/Police/Crime%20Prevention/stranger_danger.htm

A Big Backpack Thank you…..

Thank you to the community of Carlisle! Due to the families, community members, local citizens and buisnesses we hosted another successful Operation Backpack event. We provided supplies and funds to support students and families that attend Carlisle Communitiy Schools. We were able to provide approximately 125 stocked backpacks to Carlisle students. If you would like to support similar events or if you are in the need of school supplies, contact the guidance counselor at your child's school. As counselors, we strive to to connect with families and the community to help children become successful students and future workers. --Rhonda Ray, Elementary Counselor

One Tip for a Successful Year

Wow, the school year is basically just one month away. Seems like summer went so fast, but there is still a lot of time to prepare for another great year. I have been doing a lot of reading over the summer and the first book I started with was called "The Energy Bus" by Jon Gordon. He speaks to schools, businesses, teams, etc. all over the world teaching all of them how to have a positive attitude, atmosphere, and outlook on their team and in their lives. This book was very powerful and I plan to use pieces of it and some material from it with the 8th grade Life Skills class this year. I now subscribe to his weekly newsletter and have received some great information from these, as well as very simple tips. I wanted to share one with you today that if practiced now, could lead to great successes in your child's life this school year and possibly all the way through life.

Jon starts his newsletter (see link below) by noting he finishes each day by putting his kids to bed and asking them a simple question: "What was your success today?". See, by finishing their day with noting a success, they finish their day on a positive and with something they did well. They go to bed with that on their mind and they wake up with success on their mind. This can build, and build, and build and become a snowball effect of future successes. Good and bad things happen each day, but the amazing part is that we can choose to have the last part of our day before we close our eyes to be a success. I started something similar to this in my senior year of high school when I was confused and scared of the next step. I learned a trick from a weekend workshop of sorts to end my day by thinking of two positives during the day and the same two positives when I awoke the next morning. Then that night, think of two new positives from the current day. They could be as simple as a pretty sunrise or nice weather to something great that happened at school or in my personal life. I did this over and over and was amazed at how much good happened in my life and the negative that I was thinking of before was actually just a small part of my life that I dwelled on way too much. I think this strategy has lead me to be the positive person I am today, some co-workers tell me I am TOO POSITIVE! I don't think that is possible.

Anyway, give this strategy a try with your kids or even yourself! End the day by thinking about a success you had and repeat this every day. I am interested to see if you or your children see any changes over the next month or even over the school year. I am also interested to see if you have any "success tips" that you do at your house. Leave a comment below and share your tips with all of our Carlisle blog readers!

link to Jon Gordon's newsletter: http://www.jongordon.com/newsletter-071309-celebratesuccess.html

Did you know...the Iowa Youth survey we did statewide last year shows that students in 6th, 8th, and 11th grade note that schools let parents know when they did something wrong 90-96% of the time, but only let parents know good things or successes they have had 57-86% of the time?? Hmm....hopefully we can change that this year.

Summer is Winding Down, but the Carlisle Counseling Blog is Just Now Starting Up!

(click picture to enlarge)

Welcome back parents and students! Well, almost back. We still have over a month of a great summer to enjoy (some would say the weather hasn't even allowed summer to start yet!). The picture above is a satellite image taken of Carlisle and pulled off of Google Earth 5.0. Using Google Earth 5.0 has been a fun and interesting experience. Many educators across the state and country are using it in their classrooms for multiple reasons. In fact, educators everywhere are trying to use more and more technology to help improve their lessons, communication, and relevance to the students, parents, and community. Well, to make a long story short, the Carlisle counseling staff plans to use this blogging technology to attempt to increase our communication and ability to get news and information out to the students, parents, and community. We also hope to get some dialogue going from time to time, so please comment and give us feedback as we blog.

The members of this year's Carlisle Counseling staff are Leah Heidemann and Traci Lee (High School), Ben Barry (Middle School), Kim Flagor-Fuller (Middle School/Hartford), and Rhonda Ray and Julie Long (Elementary). We will be posting on this blog from time to time to give you important info. on upcoming events and newsworthy items, posting links and helpful information for students and families, and even posing some questions to all of you so that multiple great ideas can get posted for all to see! This blog is not a method of counseling or therapy as despite all the technology in the world, the best counseling and communication still occurs face to face. We hope many of you will log on from time to time and see posts and information. You will notice below is a place to click in order to leave a comment. Please do so, but please use a username or your name, not the anonymous choice. This will allow us to better communicate with you back and forth. Your comments will be seen by others who log on which could be great if you give some good advice or good tips as then the others will be able to use that.

The counseling staff at Carlisle wishes you a great rest of the summer and is excited to welcome all of you back to our school this year!

---Carlisle Counseling Staff